See *video* above
Today’s video is a collage of different conversations that merge on themes of relationship management, transforming bad dynamics into something that works better for you/me:
Best advice from my Uncle: _[see video]_
Health Homework 41: How to manage dysfunctional dynamics and convert them into something that works better for you/me
Efficient strategic escape from Manipulation-Infantilization: All manipulative relationships are infantilizing—they force us into the role of being a child. As such then the solution is __[see video]__.
Dunning-Kruger revisited: Don’t try to teach them anything.
Best advice from my Uncle
My uncle was a highly-successful architect who taught me “Every year, what we do is ____[see video]__________.
Health Homework 41
In “Health Homework 40”, I talked about the importance of setting clear boundaries and walking away from bad/uncomfortable situations, and here in “Health Homework 41” I will provide a more clear and definitive way to implement this idea, especially in situations from which one cannot escape.
Health Homework 41: How to reframe then redirect dysfunctional dynamics in such a way as to not offend the other person, not waste time trying to "correct" them or "educate" them, and in a way that is clean and efficient for you/me.
Efficient strategic escape from Manipulation-Infantilization
Distance and Redefinition
If infantilization is the problem, then adulting is the solution.
Offer/implement the adult solution that 1) offloads the problem and thought-time expense (executive function theft), 2) provides clear alternate route for present/future engagement.
In order to change/end one of our current relationships, we have to eat the sorrow of the realization that the friendship/relationship was a mistake/failure/disappointment, and perhaps that we made a mistake or were betrayed.
If something is "a big hassle", in reality what is commonly more accurate is that only one/few small part of the entirety is a hassle, one that we can resolve in order for the "big" problem to be resolved into a "small" manageable job.
Manipulative/hierarchical dynamics are infantilizing, forcing adults into lower, dependent, submissive, hurried (infantilized) positions.
The solution to infantilization is _________[see video and notes below]______.
See also my previous “ELEVEN LESSONS that I learned from the lies and deception from university presidents, conference organizers, and supposedly “successful” businesspeople”
Dunning-Krugger:1) some people are too stupid to know how stupid they are, and 2) they become defensive and retaliatory when given education/advice/correction.
2 PDF articles included from peer-reviewed research on the Dunning-Kruger effect
We all want to be complete and fully self-expressed, but as wise adults we have learn to temper this right and desire.
Some people are not going to receive feedback without getting offended, angry, defensive, and retaliatory.
As such, the better strategy is to explain or defend or educate, but to simply:
