STRUCTURED UNDERSTANDING: Introducing the A.I.D.E. acronym for dealing with manipulative people (including politicians and institutions)
Everything we "understand" has a structure to it, whether we are aware of the structure or not: A structured checklist liberates cognitive bandwidth, facilitates mastery, and increases confidence
Everything we "understand" has a structure to it, whether we are aware of the structure or not.
Everything we "understand" has a structure to it, whether we are aware of the structure or not. If we are not aware of the structure, then we may be successful with the interaction and we may feel “confident” about our interaction and level of mastery, but these levels of interaction and confidence will not be at the same level of assuredness that we could have if we use a structured approach that we’ve reviewed, tested, verified. If we do not have a structured understanding, then we have to re-create the wheel with each encounter, and we have to second-guess ourselves to make sure that we covered all the bases.
Having a structured/numbered checklist liberates cognitive bandwidth so that we can focus on the situational nuances while also ensuring that the necessary components have been addressed.
If we do not have a structured understanding, then we have to re-create the wheel with each encounter, and we have to second-guess ourselves to make sure that we covered all the bases.
Having a structured/numbered checklist liberates cognitive bandwidth so that we can focus on the situational nuances while also ensuring that the necessary components have been addressed. For example, my FINDSEX® (video1from2013, video2from2020) acronym organizes all of the major components of integrative/naturopathic/functional medicine into a checklist for easy memorization and implementation.
What are the 4 steps for dealing successfully with manipulative people?
See my “QUICKLY Understanding and Dealing with Manipulative People in Your Personal Life”
AIDE = Acknowledge, Identify, DefendYourself, Explore
1A. Acknowledge that they exist
High-functioning psychopaths are people with antisocial-predatory traits combined with sufficient social functionality to enable them to gain education and employment; they present a confusing picture of competence with sociopathology
2I. Identify them by their characteristics
Inconsistency, contradiction, gaslighting, and incessant power-gaming
3D. Defend, distance, depart, defer to a specialist if it’s someone you can’t leave
If you’re not willing/positioned/obligated to spend years in rehabilitative therapy with these people, then you need to protect yourself with distance and boundaries, or simply get out of the situation by leaving
Trying to “understand” these people is generally a waste of time and simply keeps you trapped in the dynamic. Better than understanding is accepting the situation for what it is, realizing that it is dangerous, and then leaving
4E. Explore yourself for your vulnerabilities and naivety
If you are naturally intelligent, trusting, and honest, then manipulative people will use your intelligence, trust, and honesty against you.
If you don’t engage in self-exploration, then you’ll remain vulnerable to the next encounter with sociopathic-psychopathic people/groups
You will encounter manipulators in your life/work/politics, so you'd better know how to identify them and deal with them
