My fave songs (4) about men, men's groups, masculinity

I’m aware of the fad that holds all masculinity to be evil, and some people can read oppression into anything, including art, but I’d find plenty to contort into something offensive in their playlists

Not too many songs get anywhere close to singing about men, men’s groups, or healthy masculinity, but here are a few that at least fit within the genre.

I’m aware of the social fad that holds all men and masculinity to be evil, and some people can read oppression into anything, including fruit art, but whatever… I am sure that if I reviewed their favorite playlists I’d find plenty that I could contort into something offensive.

One of the reasons this list is very short is because I specifically and intentionally excluded songs that obsess about relationships, or that include much mention whatsoever about being obsessed with other people; I am sensitized to the fact that a lot of American and Latin music is all about sexual gratification and romantic fixation, and I think that style of music and thought has really damaged the culture so I intentionally avoid it as much as possible. If you were to make a list of the most popular songs in American music, you would find that most of it is about romantic codependency and sexual obsession, but certainly not about being a strong, independent adult, man or woman.

“I Will Be Here” by Pierce Pettis

We used to occasionally play this song at the end of our men’s meetings in my men’s group in Seattle; it is the “best in class” in this genre, representing the true spirit and detail of men’s group work

You make a lot of money, You make a lot of friends, But when you lose that money, A lot of those friendships end.

When you lose that job…Lose that house…Lose that car…Lose that spouse

I will be here.

You spend a lot of time, Till there's no time left, You become such a stranger, You don't even know yourself.

You can never write, Never call, You can surround yourself with walls, But I will be here.

I am the friend you cannot lose, I am the one you did not choose, I am the friend who loves you still, I am the one who always will be here, I will be here

It would take a lot of work, To drive me away, I can take a lot of hurt, I'm willing to share your pain

No, you don't impose, You don't intrude, I'll never turn my back on you, no no

I will be here

“I’m a man” by Spencer Davis Group

The original song is from 1967 but has recently been remade by my favorite group of Russians Leonid and Friends. The lyrics are not too bad but obviously not the depth and sincerity of the above “I Will Be Here” by Pierce Pettis. It’s as good as we could expect from the confused and conflicted 1960s in America.

original video¹

Well, my pad is very messy And there's whiskers on my chin

And I'm all hung up on music And I always play to win

I ain't got no time for lovin', 'Cause my time is all used up

Just to sit around creatin', All that groovy kind of stuff

But I'm a man, yes I am, And I can't help, But love you so

Well, if I had my choice of matter, I would rather be with cats

All engrossed in mental chatter, Movin' where our minds are at

And relatin' to each other, Just how strong our wills can be

I'm resisting all involvement, With each groovy chick we see

“The King” by Vicente Fernández

Classic and well-loved song by a man who is the capitan of his ship with few fvucks to give

I know that I am outside, But the day I die, I know you'll have to cry, (Cry and cry)

You'll say you didn't love me, But you're going to be very sad, And that way you're going to stay [Chorus]

With money and without money, I always do what I want, And my word is my law, I have no throne or queen, Nor anyone who understands me, But I'm still the king

…I was also told by a mule-driver, That you don't have to arrive the first, But you have to know how to arrive

“I’m gonna be my king” by Infectious Grooves

Self-explanatory from the group I saw at Fitzgeralds in Houston Texas

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